


A Way of Thinking

by icandrawamoth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: (maybe they should just hug each other), Developing Friendships, Diary/Journal, Drinking, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Luke Skywalker Needs A Hug, Post-Battle of Yavin, Post-Star Wars: A New Hope, Wedge Antilles Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 21:45:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: After the Battle of Yavin, Luke slips away to gather his thoughts in his journal. Wedge finds him.





	A Way of Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading The Fight for Justice, which is A New Hope from told from the POV of Luke's journal, and I like the idea of him actually having that journal.

The rush of victory and buzz of adrenaline burn off quickly after the initial hugs and congratulations. Luke loses Han and Leia and Chewie in the crowds of people celebrating the Death Star's destruction, and he doesn't much feel like conversing with any of the people he's just met. What he wants most is to be alone and have a moment to rest, but he hasn't even been assigned quarters yet, and he's not about to go looking for Han and beg him to let him onto Falcon.

So instead Luke finds himself a relatively quiet corner in the Rebel base's main hanger and pulls out his journal. He pauses with his stylus above the miniature datapad's screen, hardly knowing where to begin. How can he even put words to what happened today?

“Hey.”

Luke startles as another person drops down beside him and looks over to see Wedge Antilles. So much for being alone.

“What're you doing over here all alone?” Wedge asks, giving him a slow smile, and Luke thinks the other pilot is already a little drunk. That suspicion isn't helped when Wedge offers him a cup. “Best jet juice in the sector.” Wedge frowns. “Well, it was when Theron and Nozzo were making it. But they're gone now.”

“Thanks.” Luke takes the cup, hoping to distract him. He knows Wedge is hurting after losing so many friends today, but he doesn't think he has it in him to comfort right now.

Luke looks dubiously at the sludgy drink then mentally shrugs and takes a swig. Immediately, he starts coughing as the bitter brew scorches his throat.

One corner of Wedge's mouth tips up a little. “I should have warned you it has a bit of a bite.”

“Yeah, thanks for nothing.” The quip is easy to make, though Luke is sure they both know it's a shield.

Wedge leans back against the wall, stretching his legs out in front of him and drinking from his own cup. “Really, though, what're you doing over here?”

Luke sighs and holds up the datapad. “You'll think it's silly, but I keep a journal. It kind of helps me get my thoughts together, and...well, I've had a lot of thoughts lately.”

“I don't think it's silly.” Wedges glances over at him then lets his eyes play over the celebrating crowd again. “What kind of thoughts?”

Luke wonders if Wedge is asking to drown out the noise in his own head. He understands the urge.

“Just a few days ago, I found out my father was a Jedi instead of the normal freighter navigator I always thought he was. I met his teacher and found out I had the Force too and started learning. My aunt and uncle, the only real parents I'd ever known, were killed.” Luke's voice trembles. “My home was destroyed. I left Tatooine for the first time in my life. I helped save a princess and watched Ben die too. I ended up here as part of this battle I never imagined. I reunited with my best friend and lost him again just as fast.” He tries to laugh, but it comes out sounding choked. “And I just destroyed the Empire's deadliest weapon and killed who even knows how many people along with it.”

Wedge whistles lowly. “That is...a lot. For what it's worth, I'm sorry.” He takes another drink.

Luke mirrors him, not knowing what else to do. At least he can pretend the burn in his throat is still from the alcohol and not a fierce attempt to hold back tears. “Thanks.”

Wedge shrugs and looks over at him, keeping his gaze on Luke this time. Before Luke can ask what he's thinking, Wedge asks, “Does it help?”

“What?”

Wedge jerks his chin at Luke's datapad. “The journal.”

“Oh.” Luke fiddles with the device, turning it over in his hands. “Sometimes. But now...I don't know. It's too soon to tell. Everything's so fresh.”

Wedge nods. “I wish I could tell you it gets better,” he mutters after a minute. His eyes are big and brown and shiny like Luke's have to be, tears threatening. “But as long as you're in this Rebellion, people are going to keep dying around you. It's just how it is.” He eyes flicker closed as he lets out a harsh breath. “Never thought it'd just be me and you coming home today, though. The entire squadron-” He chokes off suddenly, unable to finish.

“I'm sorry,” Luke tells him. “You knew almost all of them much better than I did.”

“I'd flown with some of them since I joined the Alliance myself.”

Luke nods. “Biggs has been – _had_ been – my best friend since we were little kids. When I ran into him here, I started imagining all the time we'd get to spend together going forward. Jumped the gun, obviously.”

“He talked about you,” Wedge says quietly. “What a good pilot you were. And how you knew what was right. He was sure you'd join us someday, and he was right.”

Luke swallows hard. “I don't want to let him down.”

“I don't want to let any of them down,” Wedge says like it's an admission. “Red Squadron is just us now. We have to carry everything.”

“Do you think we can?”

Wedge looks down at his lap, fiddling with the loose ejection harness straps hanging from his flight suit. “I don't know. But I'm going to try. They all gave their lives for this fight, and I'm not about to let that have happened in vain.”

“Me either.” Determination surges in Luke, pressing aside some of the grief and pain. “For Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen and Obi-Wan, too. They all took care of me and tried to guide me to what's right, and I'm going to make them proud. All of them.”

Something like the faintest of smiles makes its way onto Wedge's face. “Together?” he asks.

Luke nods firmly. “Together.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [For You (I really hope you like it!)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19043983) by [aphorisnt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphorisnt/pseuds/aphorisnt)




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